The Things I Dream

     I had the weirdest dream this morning just before waking up. I was at my friend Bryan's parents' house, but it didn't look anything like their place. It was clear to me that I was visiting with my wife, Gabby, and baby, Cadence, but they weren't there with me. I kept trying to call Gabby but my phone wasn't working, nor anyone else's phones. I decided to go to them and jumped in a Camaro.

     Flash to me at a stoplight in Pacific Beach, CA and my Camaro morphs into a bike. Not a motorcycle, mind you, but a 10 speed bicycle. I turn left and start pedaling down the street when it randomly changes into an extremely ghetto street. I decide to keep going until I see flashes of light up ahead on both sides of the street. Then I heard gunfire accompanying the lights. Being unarmed but for my SOG knife I decided to turn around and get the heck out of dodge. Unfortunately for me I was spotted and one of them came after me. I tried to dial 911 but my fingers became enlarged so I couldn't press just one button at a time. Frantic, as my pursuer closed in on me, I pulled around a gas station building and tried to hide there. The thug came up behind me somehow (even though in real life it would have been a physical impossibility) and pointed his gun at me.

     Cornered, I dropped my cell phone, and put my hands at my side ready to draw my knife. I wasn't going down without a fight. I mean, I knew he was going to shoot me anyway so I couldn't witness against them. I drew my knife while simultaneously reaching out for his gun. I wasn't able to grab the wrist so he got a shot in my left shoulder. I swung my knife around to get him in the armpit, which would give me leverage to take him down. Before I could jab at him he got another shot in my left shoulder.

     I couldn't believe the speed at which this punk moved. Enough was enough. I wasn't sure I could take another round. I was losing blood fast. I reached out with my left arm; if I dropped my knife I would be completely unarmed. Success! I was able to grab his wrist and force the gun away from me. I took full advantage of the momentary leverage I had, reaching around his neck with my knife and digging it into his corrated artery. I put just enough pressure to make it uncomfortable. Just when I was going to finish the turd off I saw a Sheriff's deputy and my humanity got the best of me. I dragged the punk by his neck while trying to shout out to the deputy, but it seemed my voice didn't work. My little prisoner decided to try to get one last shot in and the round hit the Sheriff's car. I was glad to get the deputy's attention, but while mine was drawn to the vehicle being shot the gang-banger tried to fire one more into me. Luckily, he missed. Unlucky for him, I decided to let him have it. I stuck him like a roasting pig..... then I heard the baby stir and woke up.